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THE CONTROLLER

When unpredictability shaped our early world, we may have learned that being the one who planned, organised, and held everything together was the safest place to stand.

We may have adapted by taking responsibility for outcomes, staying two steps ahead, and tightening our grip whenever things felt uncertain or out of our control. Taking control was how we handled chaos, and our brain can still register letting go as a threat.

Today this can show up as tension when plans shift, difficulty trusting others to follow through, and patterns of feeling safest when we are the ones in charge.

Take three actions

Read

The Perfectionist’s Guide to Losing Control

by Katherine Morgan Schafler

Amazon (Book + Kindle)

Listen

How To Feel More In Control Of Life: A Revolutionary Approach to Stress, Relationships & Inner Peace

Feel Better, Live More with Dr Rangan Chatterjee, Episode 525 featuring Mel Robbins

Do

Choose one tiny decision today and intentionally pick the second-best option instead of the perfect one. Notice the urge to optimise or take control, breathe once, and let the moment stand as it is. We are teaching our system that we stay safe even when things aren’t managed our way.

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